Critical Brisk Stroll


Critical Brisk Stroll is a new international movement with an as-of-yet-unscheduled first event to be held in Rochester. The aim of this movement is to assert the rights of pedestrians everywhere to sidewalks and crosswalks.

Plans are being formed for an inaugural walk to take place within the next month, beginning at the Village Gate and ending at an as-of-yet-to-be-determined bar in the South Wedge.

You are encouraged to join the mailing list [WWW]here to involve yourself in the community, aid in planning, or to keep tabs on this grassroots movement for law enforcement purposes.

Synopsis (draft): While the Critical Brisk Stroll movement eschews all labels, it is closest in its ideological bent to the Contemporary-Neo-Randian-Post-Malthusian-Conservative-Anarcho-Capitalistic-Classical-Socialist-Tibetan-Green movement, predicated upon the assumption of validity in the philosophies espoused by Adorno in his seminal work: Negative Dialectics. Self declared members of the movement, in a strictly binary deconstructive sense, could perhaps all be accurately described as conscientiously striving to reflect the universal class struggle as illustrated by the evolution of the C++ programming language. Borges, Akirakawa and Gins, Hitler, Alizee, Noam Chomsky, Malaysia1, and Adolf Wolfli are our mortal enemies. We, as a decentralized movement, agree that Genocide is morally abhorrent, strive for the eradication of all prime numbers, and actively fellate the patriarchy—yet, while still remaining consistent with the underlying thrust of 5th wave feminism—and in turn necessessarily loathe even so much as a mention of evenly numbered denominations of currency. Critical Brisk Stroll is both the ineffable and Critical Brisk Stroll. We are as strictly regimented as an MLA formatted document and as flexible as the truth. We are the voice of reason—with footnotes. We are the innocent, blind, oppressed, and pure. We are the voice of the working class. We are pedestrians.

It was independently conceived, having nothing to do with Critical Mass, despite any similarities in concept or name or reality.


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2007-04-25 10:43:22   This sounds interesting...but I don't really understand why a right to the sidewalk needs to be asserted. Who is threatening this right? Crosswalks, on the other hand...well, let's just say I'm one of those motorists who would occasionally like to run down idiots that take their time crossing in the crosswalk when I have a green light, so I can see the point in pedestrians asserting their right to a crosswalk because of angry drivers like me. Anyway, I hope that this is as "brisk" as the name suggests, because although pedestrians do have a right to the crosswalk, the road is a shared place for everyone and people just need to be respectful of each other. It's not fair to motorists trying to make a legal turn if pedestrians decide to walk as slowly as humanly possible as they cross the street. I'm not talking about little old ladies with canes, I'm talking about the healthy young people who decide to cross at the last possible second, take their time, and then glare at me as if daring me to try to turn. /end rant —RachelBlumenthal

2007-04-25 17:36:44   Rachel: when pedestrians are outlawed, only outlaws will be pedestrians. You are either for Critical Brisk Stroll, or you are for the terrorists, Republicans, and wish death upon small animals. —RobertPolyn

2007-04-25 18:02:39   Well, I did have to kill a cute fuzzy rat in lab this semester, but I didn't like it. And I certainly don't like Republicans (yuck). Sarcasm aside, I really don't understand this. It sounds like something I might like to participate in...but I'm not really sure what threat there is to pedestrians on the sidewalk aside from out of control cars driven by 80 year old men who should have had their licenses revoked years ago. Can you clarify just what this movement is fighting against so confused people like myself can understand? I'm a liberal hippie at heart with just a small tendency towards road rage. —RachelBlumenthal

2007-04-25 18:39:58   Following the usual convention of adopting acronyms, like CMers has stuck to Critical Massers, might not CBSers become confused with former radio shock jocks and groupies for [wikipedia]Dan “What's the frequency, Kenneth?” Rather? —JohnLam

2007-04-25 21:01:55   Frankly, we need a movement like this. I applaud Robert for cutting fresh cheese, yet again, in this fine city. Walk! Walk man, walk. Do it for the children. —FarMcKon

2007-04-25 21:12:12   Manifesto forthcoming. —RobertPolyn

2007-04-25 21:13:43   I agree - CBS is a confusing acronym. Why don't you remove the "Critical". Call it BS and nobody will be confused. —RottenChester

2007-04-26 09:35:13   If I understand the point of the Stroll, you prove it in your first comment. First, vehicles must always yield the right of way to pedestrians — even if they "take their time crossing in the crosswalk when I have a green light." Likewise, when you say, "it's not fair to motorists trying to make a legal turn if pedestrians decide to walk as slowly as humanly possible as they cross the street" I assume you're referring to right-on-red — in that case, are you also angry at all the vehicular traffic that refuses to yield the right of way to you just because they have a green light? You sound like a dangerous person with road rage that should seek help before you decide to use your vehicle as a weapon. —JasonOlshefsky

2007-04-26 11:10:09 comment wasn't meant to be taken seriously. I am absolutely not a dangerous person, and I'm not actually planning on running down any pedestrians. I don't need any help, thank you very much. All I'm saying is that there are rude drivers and rude pedestrians, and we'd all be better served if people remembered that the road is a shared place. I was referring mainly to left-on-green turns that coincide with a walk signal. When I have a walk signal but I see that people are trying to make a (legal) left, I walk across at a nice "brisk" pace so they can turn before their light goes out, and I appreciate it when other pedestrians do the same when I'm the one in the car. What I'm really ranting about are the pedestrians that think they own the road and cross illegally and dangerously, or they cross legally but in an obnoxious way. —RachelBlumenthal

2007-04-26 11:12:49   PS—Don't worry, you have nothing to fear. I probably drive a grand total of under twenty miles a week anyway. But I'm from Boston. I was born to rant and rave about other drivers (and pedestrians). —RachelBlumenthal

2007-04-26 16:25:36   Oh yeah, MLA? I see a grammatical error :-P —RachelBlumenthal

2007-04-26 16:27:33   You see only what your eyes want to see. —RobertPolyn

2007-04-26 16:30:28   Hmph. —RachelBlumenthal

2007-04-26 20:14:51   I retract my earlier derision. CBS' courageous stance on hydrogenated oil and art brut has convinced me that there's some merit here. —RottenChester

2007-04-26 20:33:14   I'm conflicted...I like $2 bills and I also like MLA formatting. I just don't know which side to choose! —RachelBlumenthal